AM 760 KFMB - Talk Radio Station - San Diego, CA - Yellowstone Employees Have “Seen Too Much (Tourist) Stupidity”

Yellowstone Employees Have “Seen Too Much (Tourist) Stupidity”

Updated: May 20, 2016 6:53 AM

It’s hard to tell if this is true or not, but my guess is that it’s not too farfetched. Apparently employees and officials from Yellowstone National Park walked off the job recently.

It was only a few weeks into the 100-year celebration of the park when they said they had enough of the stupidity of tourists.

Park officials claim to have “seen too much stupid” already, and say that their federal health plan, while generous in benefits, does not cover the prescription of opioids strong enough to dull the pain of witnessing tourists putting bison calfs in their vehicles — which forced park officials to euthanize the innocent animal — and clambering around the edges of delicate hot springs. (Teton Gravity Research)

I remember hearing about the story of the bison calf that had to be euthanized after some morons decided to take it from its herd because they thought it was cold and needed attention.

That calf ended up being euthanized because it was shunned by its herd after being put back out in the wild. These idiots who engaged in this need to be knocked down a peg or two just for the hell of it.

Getting back to the original story… this is absolutely hilarious. These are technically government employees, yes? The Department of the Interior, I believe, manages the national parks around the country.

It’s as if someone finally has had enough of working for a government agency, right? Well, not exactly. It’s the idiots who are attending the national park that are causing panic and anxiety (sometimes, heart) attacks for the employees.

The head of the DEA even placed a temporary moratorium on the federal ban on weed so that park employees could be treated with medicinal marijuana. (Teton Gravity Research)

There’s a really simple way to solve this crisis that Yellowstone National Park, and other national parks, are enduring. Are you ready? Let’s apply the concept of Charles Darwin’s entire life’s work to the tourists. Let’s have the tourists engage in “survival of the fittest.”

If they want to interact with the wildlife and get attacked, the onus is on them to fend for themselves. They essentially sign a waiver of liability from the park in case they’re injured (or God forbid, killed) in the act.

I’ve chatted with people over the years, and they sometimes question how Darwinism would be applied in today’s world. Is it really not that easy to adapt to future generations?

Animals have roamed this great planet for millions of years, more so than us humans. In a sense, who are we to invade their land and mess with their ways of life?

I identify as a helicoprion from about 290 million years ago and these morons are swimming in my oceans. I shall engage in full attack mode if they don’t leave my fellow national park employee friends alone. (I’m joking, of course. Don’t get your panties in a bunch).

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